I’m not sad anymore, and I’m not angry, either. But I’m hurt and confused. I feel abandoned, betrayed, and unwanted. I loved with my whole heart, I gave everything I had. That sounds super cliche, I know, but it’s true. I really did love him, and I can’t make it go away. I can’t help but smile when he’s being a fool, or want to know how his day went, and my heart still skips a beat when he’s around or his name is mentioned. I’m sure someday that will go away, it’s just a process. It sucks that I lost a friend along the way, and I wish that part of my life wasn’t over because I was so happy and so in love. And, honestly, there is little better than the feeling of being in love and loved back. The majority of my good memories from this past year are with him, and I know when I look back on the year come New Years I’ll miss our silliness and fun times a lot. But now all that’s left to do is let go and move on. Unfortunately, that’s not as easy to accomplish as it sounds. Letting go of love is in no way synonymous in letting go of a balloon.